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]]>"I won`t!" cried Ann; "I won`t sweep the floor. It is beneath my dignity."
"Someone must sweep it," replied Ann`s younger sister, Salye; "else we shall soon be wading in dust. And you are the eldest, and the head of the family."
"I`m Queen of Oogaboo," said Ann, proudly. "But," she added with a sigh, "my kingdom is the smallest and the poorest in all the Land of Oz."
This was quite true. Away up in the mountains, in a far corner of the beautiful fairyland of Oz, lies a small valley which is named Oogaboo, and in this valley
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]]>“I won`t!” cried Ann; “I won`t sweep the floor. It is beneath my dignity.”
“Someone must sweep it,” replied Ann`s younger sister, Salye; “else we shall soon be wading in dust. And you are the eldest, and the head of the family.”
“I`m Queen of Oogaboo,” said Ann, proudly. “But,” she added with a sigh, “my kingdom is the smallest and the poorest in all the Land of Oz.”
This was quite true. Away up in the mountains, in a far corner of the beautiful fairyland of Oz, lies a small valley which is named Oogaboo, and in this valley lived a few people who were usually happy and contented and never cared to wander over the mountain pass into the more settled parts of the land. They knew that all of Oz, including their own territory, was ruled by a beautiful Princess named Ozma, who lived in the splendid Emerald City; yet the simple folk of Oogaboo never visited Ozma. They had a royal family of their ownnot especially to rule over them, but just as a matter of pride. Ozma permitted the various parts of her country to have their Kings and Queens and Emperors and the like, but all were ruled over by the lovely girl Queen of the Emerald City.
The King of Oogaboo used to be a man named Jol Jemkiph Soforth, who for many years did all the drudgery of deciding disputes and telling his people when to plant cabbages and pickle onions. But the King`s wife had a sharp tongue and small respect for the King, her husband; therefore one night King Jol crept over the pass into the Land of Oz and disappeared from Oogaboo for good and all. The Queen waited a few years for him to return and then started in search of him, leaving her eldest daughter, Ann Soforth, to act as Queen.
Now, Ann had not forgotten when her birthday came, for that meant a party and feasting and dancing, but she had quite forgotten how many years the birthdays marked. In a land where people live always, this is not considered a cause for regret, so we may justly say that Queen Ann of Oogaboo was old enough to make jellyand let it go at that.
But she didn`t make jelly, or do any more of the housework than she could help. She was an ambitious woman and constantly resented the fact that her kingdom was so tiny and her people so stupid and unenterprising. Often she wondered what had become of her father and mother, out beyond the pass, in the wonderful Land of Oz, and the fact that they did not return to Oogaboo led Ann to suspect that they had found a better place to live. So, when Salye refused to sweep the floor of the living room in the palace, and Ann would not sweep it, either, she said to her sister:
“I`m going away. This absurd Kingdom of Oogaboo tires me.”
“Go, if you want to,” answered Salye; “but you are very foolish to leave this place.”
“Why?” asked Ann.
“Because in the Land of Oz, which is Ozma`s country, you will be a nobody, while here you are a Queen.”
“Oh, yes! Queen over eighteen men, twenty-seven women and forty-four children!” returned Ann bitterly.
“Well, there are certainly more people than that in the great Land of Oz,” laughed Salye. “Why don`t you raise an army and conquer them, and be Queen of all Oz?” she asked, trying to taunt Ann and so to anger her. Then she made a face at her sister and went into the back yard to swing in the hammock.
Her jeering words, however, had given Queen Ann an idea. She reflected that Oz was reported to be a peaceful country and Ozma a mere girl who ruled with gentleness to all and was obeyed because her people loved her. Even in Oogaboo the story was told that Ozma`s sole army consisted of twenty-seven fine officers, who wore beautiful uniforms but carried no weapons, because there was no one to fight. Once there had been a private soldier, besides the officers, but Ozma had made him a Captain-General and taken away his gun for fear it might accidentally hurt some one.
The more Ann thought about the matter the more she was convinced it would be easy to conquer the Land of Oz and set herself up as Ruler in Ozma`s place, if she but had an Army to do it with. Afterward she could go out into the world and conquer other lands, and then perhaps she could find a way to the moon, and conquer that. She had a warlike spirit that preferred trouble to idleness.
It all depended on an Army, Ann decided. She carefully counted in her mind all the men of her kingdom. Yes; there were exactly eighteen of them, all told. That would not make a very big Army, but by surprising Ozma`s unarmed officers her men might easily subdue them. “Gentle people are always afraid of those that bluster,” Ann told herself. “I don`t wish to shed any blood, for that would shock my nerves and I might faint; but if we threaten and flash our weapons I am sure the people of Oz will fall upon their knees before me and surrender.”
This argument, which she repeated to herself more than once, finally determined the Queen of Oogaboo to undertake the audacious venture.
“Whatever happens,” she reflected, “can make me no more unhappy than my staying shut up in this miserable valley and sweeping floors and quarreling with Sister Salye; so I will venture all, and win what I may.”
That very day she started out to organize her Army.
The first man she came to was Jo Apple, so called because he had an apple orchard.
“Jo,” said Ann, “I am going to conquer the world, and I want you to join my Army.”
“Don`t ask me to do such a fool thing, for I must politely refuse Your Majesty,” said Jo Apple.”
“I have no intention of asking you. I shall command you, as Queen of Oogaboo, to join,” said Ann.
“In that case, I suppose I must obey,” the man remarked, in a sad voice. “But I pray you to consider that I am a very important citizen, and for that reason am entitled to an office of high rank.”
“You shall be a General,” promised Ann.
“With gold epaulets and a sword?” he asked.
“Of course,” said the Queen.
Then she went to the next man, whose name was Jo Bunn, as he owned an orchard where graham-buns and wheat-buns, in great variety, both hot and cold, grew on the trees.
“Jo,” said Ann, “I am going to conquer the world, and I command you to join my Army.”
“Impossible!” he exclaimed. “The bun crop has to be picked.”
“Let your wife and children do the picking,” said Ann.
“But I`m a man of great importance, Your Majesty,” he protested.
“For that reason you shall be one of my Generals, and wear a cocked hat with gold braid, and curl your mustaches and clank a long sword,” she promised.
So he consented, although sorely against his will, and the Queen walked on to the next cottage. Here lived Jo Cone, so called because the trees in his orchard bore crops of excellent ice-cream cones.
“Jo,” said Ann, “I am going to conquer the world, and you must join my Army.”
“Excuse me, please,” said Jo Cone. “I am a bad fighter. My good wife conquered me years ago, for she can fight better than I. Take her, Your Majesty, instead of me, and I`ll bless you for the favor.”
“This must be an army of menfierce, ferocious warriors,” declared Ann, looking sternly upon the mild little man.
“And you will leave my wife here in Oogaboo?” he asked.
“Yes; and make you a General.”
“I`ll go,” said Jo Cone, and Ann went on to the cottage of Jo Clock, who had an orchard of clock-trees. This man at first insisted that he would not join the army, but Queen Ann`s promise to make him a General finally won his consent.
“How many Generals are there in your army?” he asked.
“Four, so far,” replied Ann.
“And how big will the army be?” was his next question.
“I intend to make every one of the eighteen men in Oogaboo join it,” she said.
“Then four Generals are enough,” announced Jo Clock. “I advise you to make the rest of them Colonels.”
Ann tried to follow his advice. The next four men she visitedwho were Jo Plum, Jo Egg, Jo Banjo and Jo Cheese, named after the trees in their orchardsshe made Colonels of her Army; but the fifth one, Jo Nails, said Colonels and Generals were getting to be altogether too common in the Army of Oogaboo and he preferred to be a Major. So Jo Nails, Jo Cake, Jo Ham and Jo Stockings were all four made Majors, while the next fourJo Sandwich, Jo Padlocks, Jo Sundae and Jo Buttonswere appointed Captains of the Army.
But now Queen Ann was in a quandary. There remained but two other men in all Oogaboo, and if she made these two Lieutenants, while there were four Captains, four Majors, four Colonels and four Generals, there was likely to be jealousy in her army, and perhaps mutiny and desertions.
One of these men, however, was Jo Candy, and he would not go at all. No promises could tempt him, nor could threats move him. He said he must remain at home to harvest his crop of jackson-balls, lemon-drops, bonbons and chocolate-creams. Also he had large fields of crackerjack and buttered pop corn to be mowed and threshed, and he was determined not to disappoint the children of Oogaboo by going away to conquer the world and so let the candy crop spoil.
Finding Jo Candy so obstinate, Queen Ann let him have his own way and continued her journey to the house of the eighteenth and last man in Oogaboo, who was a young fellow named Jo Files. This Files had twelve trees, which bore steel files of various sorts; but also he had nine book-trees, on which grew a choice selection of story-books. In case you have never seen books growing upon trees, I will explain that those in Jo Files` orchard were enclosed in broad green husks which, when fully ripe, turned to a deep red color. Then the books were picked and husked and were ready to read. If they were picked too soon, the stories were found to be confused and uninteresting and the spelling bad. However, if allowed to ripen perfectly, the stories were fine reading and the spelling and grammar excellent.
Files freely gave his books to all who wanted them, but the people of Oogaboo cared little for books and so he had to read most of them himself, before they spoiled. For, as you probably know, as soon as …
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]]>The Tin Woodman sat on his glittering tin throne in the handsome tin hall of his splendid tin castle in the Winkie Country of the Land of Oz. Beside him, in a chair of woven straw, sat his best friend, the Scarecrow of Oz. At times they spoke to one another of curious things they had seen and strange adventures they had known since first they two had met and become comrades. But at times they were silent, for these things had been talked over many times between them, and they found themselves contented in merely
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]]>The Tin Woodman sat on his glittering tin throne in the handsome tin hall of his splendid tin castle in the Winkie Country of the Land of Oz. Beside him, in a chair of woven straw, sat his best friend, the Scarecrow of Oz. At times they spoke to one another of curious things they had seen and strange adventures they had known since first they two had met and become comrades. But at times they were silent, for these things had been talked over many times between them, and they found themselves contented in merely being together, speaking now and then a brief sentence to prove they were wide awake and attentive. But then, these two quaint persons never slept. Why should they sleep, when they never tired?
And now, as the brilliant sun sank low over the Winkie Country of Oz, tinting the glistening tin towers and tin minarets of the tin castle with glorious sunset hues, there approached along a winding pathway Woot the Wanderer, who met at the castle entrance a Winkie servant.
The servants of the Tin Woodman all wore tin helmets and tin breastplates and uniforms covered with tiny tin discs sewed closely together on silver cloth, so that their bodies sparkled as beautifully as did the tin castleand almost as beautifully as did the Tin Woodman himself.
Woot the Wanderer looked at the man servantall bright and glitteringand at the magnificent castleall bright and glitteringand as he looked his eyes grew big with wonder. For Woot was not very big and not very old and, wanderer though he was, this proved the most gorgeous sight that had ever met his boyish gaze.
“Who lives here?” he asked.
“The Emperor of the Winkies, who is the famous Tin Woodman of Oz,” replied the servant, who had been trained to treat all strangers with courtesy.
“A Tin Woodman? How queer!” exclaimed the little wanderer.
“Well, perhaps our Emperor is queer,” admitted the servant; “but he is a kind master and as honest and true as good tin can make him; so we, who gladly serve him, are apt to forget that he is not like other people.”
“May I see him?” asked Woot the Wanderer, after a moment`s thought.
“If it please you to wait a moment, I will go and ask him,” said the servant, and then he went into the hall where the Tin Woodman sat with his friend the Scarecrow. Both were glad to learn that a stranger had arrived at the castle, for this would give them something new to talk about, so the servant was asked to admit the boy at once.
By the time Woot the Wanderer had passed through the grand corridorsall lined with ornamental tinand under stately tin archways and through the many tin rooms all set with beautiful tin furniture, his eyes had grown bigger than ever and his whole little body thrilled with amazement. But, astonished though he was, he was able to make a polite bow before the throne and to say in a respectful voice: “I salute your Illustrious Majesty and offer you my humble services.”
“Very good!” answered the Tin Woodman in his accustomed cheerful manner. “Tell me who you are, and whence you come.”
“I am known as Woot the Wanderer,” answered the boy, “and I have come, through many travels and by roundabout ways, from my former home in a far corner of the Gillikin Country of Oz.”
“To wander from one`s home,” remarked the Scarecrow, “is to encounter dangers and hardships, especially if one is made of meat and bone. Had you no friends in that corner of the Gillikin Country? Was it not homelike and comfortable?”
To hear a man stuffed with straw speak, and speak so well, quite startled Woot, and perhaps he stared a bit rudely at the Scarecrow. But after a moment he replied:
“I had home and friends, your Honorable Strawness, but they were so quiet and happy and comfortable that I found them dismally stupid. Nothing in that corner of Oz interested me, but I believed that in other parts of the country I would find strange people and see new sights, and so I set out upon my wandering journey. I have been a wanderer for nearly a full year, and now my wanderings have brought me to this splendid castle.”
“I suppose,” said the Tin Woodman, “that in this year you have seen so much that you have become very wise.”
“No,” replied Woot, thoughtfully, “I am not at all wise, I beg to assure your Majesty. The more I wander the less I find that I know, for in the Land of Oz much wisdom and many things may be learned.”
“To learn is simple. Don`t you ask questions?” inquired the Scarecrow.
“Yes; I ask as many questions as I dare; but some people refuse to answer questions.”
“That is not kind of them,” declared the Tin Woodman. “If one does not ask for information he seldom receives it; so I, for my part, make it a rule to answer any civil question that is asked me.”
“So do I,” added the Scarecrow, nodding.
“I am glad to hear this,” said the Wanderer, “for it makes me bold to ask for something to eat.”
“Bless the boy!” cried the Emperor of the Winkies; “how careless of me not to remember that wanderers are usually hungry. I will have food brought you at once.”
Saying this he blew upon a tin whistle that was suspended from his tin neck, and at the summons a servant appeared and bowed low. The Tin Woodman ordered food for the stranger, and in a few minutes the servant brought in a tin tray heaped with a choice array of good things to eat, all neatly displayed on tin dishes that were polished till they shone like mirrors. The tray was set upon a tin table drawn before the throne, and the servant placed a tin chair before the table for the boy to seat himself.
“Eat, friend Wanderer,” said the Emperor cordially, “and I trust the feast will be to your liking. I, myself, do not eat, being made in such manner that I require no food to keep me alive. Neither does my friend the Scarecrow. But all my Winkie people eat, being formed of flesh, as you are, and so my tin cupboard is never bare, and strangers are always welcome to whatever it contains.”
The boy ate in silence for a time, being really hungry, but after his appetite was somewhat satisfied, he said:
“How happened your Majesty to be made of tin, and still be alive?”
“That,” replied the tin man, “is a long story.”
“The longer the better,” said the boy. “Won`t you please tell me the story?”
“If you desire it,” promised the Tin Woodman, leaning back in his tin throne and crossing his tin legs. “I haven`t related my history in a long while, because everyone here knows it nearly as well as I do. But you, being a stranger, are no doubt curious to learn how I became so beautiful and prosperous, so I will recite for your benefit my strange adventures.”
“Thank you,” said Woot the Wanderer, still eating.
“I was not always made of tin,” began the Emperor, “for in the beginning I was a man of flesh and bone and blood and lived in the Munchkin Country of Oz. There I was, by trade, a woodchopper, and contributed my share to the comfort of the Oz people by chopping up the trees of the forest to make firewood, with which the women would cook their meals while the children warmed themselves about the fires. For my home I had a little hut by the edge of the forest, and my life was one of much content until I fell in love with a beautiful Munchkin girl who lived not far away.”
“What was the Munchkin girl`s name?” asked Woot.
“Nimmie Amee. This girl, so fair that the sunsets blushed when their rays fell upon her, lived with a powerful witch who wore silver shoes and who had made the poor child her slave. Nimmie Amee was obliged to work from morning till night for the old Witch of the East, scrubbing and sweeping her hut and cooking her meals and washing her dishes. She had to cut firewood, too, until I found her one day in the forest and fell in love with her. After that, I always brought plenty of firewood to Nimmie Amee and we became very friendly. Finally I asked her to marry me, and she agreed to do so, but the Witch happened to overhear our conversation and it made her very angry, for she did not wish her slave to be taken away from her. The Witch commanded me never to come near Nimmie Amee again, but I told her I was my own master and would do as I pleased, not realizing that this was a careless way to speak to a Witch.
“The next day, as I was cutting wood in the forest, the cruel Witch enchanted my axe, so that it slipped and cut off my right leg.”
“How dreadful!” cried Woot the Wanderer.
“Yes, it was a seeming misfortune,” agreed the Tin Man, “for a one-legged woodchopper is of little use in his trade. But I would not allow the Witch to conquer me so easily. I knew a very skillful mechanic at the other side of the forest, who was my friend, so I hopped on one leg to him and asked him to help me. He soon made me a new leg out of tin and fastened it cleverly to my meat body. It had joints at the knee and at the ankle and was almost as comfortable as the leg I had lost.”
“Your friend must have been a wonderful workman!” exclaimed Woot.
“He was, indeed,” admitted the Emperor. “He was a tinsmith by trade and could make anything out of tin. When I returned to Nimmie Amee, the girl was delighted and threw her arms around my neck and kissed me, declaring she was proud of me. The Witch saw the kiss and was more angry than before. When I went to work in the forest, next day, my axe, being still enchanted, slipped and cut off my other leg. Again I hoppedon my tin legto my friend the tinsmith, who kindly made me another tin leg and fastened it to my body. So I returned joyfully to Nimmie Amee, who was much pleased with my glittering legs and promised that when we were wed she would always keep them oiled and polished. But the Witch was more furious than ever, and as soon as I raised my axe to chop, it twisted around and cut off one of my arms. The tinsmith made me a tin arm and I was not much worried, because Nimmie Amee declared she still loved me.”
Chapter 2. The heart of the tin woodman.
The Emperor of the Winkies paused in his story to reach for an oil-can, wit…
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]]>MOST of the adventures recorded in this book really occurred; one or two were experiences of my own, the rest those of boys who were schoolmates of mine. Huck Finn is drawn from life; Tom Sawyer also, but not from an individualhe is a combination of the characteristics of three boys whom I knew, and therefore belongs to the composite order of architecture.
The odd superstitions touched upon were all prevalent among children and slaves in the West at the period of this storythat is to say, thirty or forty years ago.
Although my book is intended mainly for the entertainment of
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]]>MOST of the adventures recorded in this book really occurred; one or two were experiences of my own, the rest those of boys who were schoolmates of mine. Huck Finn is drawn from life; Tom Sawyer also, but not from an individualhe is a combination of the characteristics of three boys whom I knew, and therefore belongs to the composite order of architecture.
The odd superstitions touched upon were all prevalent among children and slaves in the West at the period of this storythat is to say, thirty or forty years ago.
Although my book is intended mainly for the entertainment of boys and girls, I hope it will not be shunned by men and women on that account, for part of my plan has been to try to pleasantly remind adults of what they once were themselves, and of how they felt and thought and talked, and what queer enterprises they sometimes engaged in.
Chapter 1.
“TOM!”
No answer.
“TOM!”
No answer.
“What`s gone with that boy, I wonder? You TOM!”
No answer.
The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked over them about the room; then she put them up and looked out under them. She seldom or never looked THROUGH them for so small a thing as a boy; they were her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built for “style,” not serviceshe could have seen through a pair of stove-lids just as well. She looked perplexed for a moment, and then said, not fiercely, but still loud enough for the furniture to hear:
“Well, I lay if I get hold of you I`ll”
She did not finish, for by this time she was bending down and punching under the bed with the broom, and so she needed breath to punctuate the punches with. She resurrected nothing but the cat.
“I never did see the beat of that boy!”
She went to the open door and stood in it and looked out among the tomato vines and “jimpson” weeds that constituted the garden. No Tom. So she lifted up her voice at an angle calculated for distance and shouted:
“Y-o-u-u TOM!”
There was a slight noise behind her and she turned just in time to seize a small boy by the slack of his roundabout and arrest his flight.
“There! I might `a` thought of that closet. What you been doing in there?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing! Look at your hands. And look at your mouth. What IS that truck?”
“I don`t know, aunt.”
“Well, I know. It`s jamthat`s what it is. Forty times I`ve said if you didn`t let that jam alone I`d skin you. Hand me that switch.”
The switch hovered in the airthe peril was desperate
“My! Look behind you, aunt!”
The old lady whirled round, and snatched her skirts out of danger. The lad fled on the instant, scrambled up the high board-fence, and disappeared over it.
His aunt Polly stood surprised a moment, and then broke into a gentle laugh.
“Hang the boy, can`t I never learn anything? Ain`t he played me tricks enough like that for me to be looking out for him by this time? But old fools is the biggest fools there is. Can`t learn an old dog new tricks, as the saying is. But my goodness, he never plays them alike, two days, and how is a body to know what`s coming? He `pears to know just how long he can torment me before I get my dander up, and he knows if he can make out to put me off for a minute or make me laugh, it`s all down again and I can`t hit him a lick. I ain`t doing my duty by that boy, and that`s the Lord`s truth, goodness knows. Spare the rod and spile the child, as the Good Book says. I`m a laying up sin and suffering for us both, I know. He`s full of the Old Scratch, but laws-a-me! he`s my own dead sister`s boy, poor thing, and I ain`t got the heart to lash him, somehow. Every time I let him off, my conscience does hurt me so, and every time I hit him my old heart most breaks. Well-a-well, man that is born of woman is of few days and full of trouble, as the Scripture says, and I reckon it`s so. He`ll play hookey this evening, * and [* Southwestern for “afternoon”] I`ll just be obleeged to make him work, to-morrow, to punish him. It`s mighty hard to make him work Saturdays, when all the boys is having holiday, but he hates work more than he hates anything else, and I`ve GOT to do some of my duty by him, or I`ll be the ruination of the child.”
Tom did play hookey, and he had a very good time. He got back home barely in season to help Jim, the small colored boy, saw next-day`s wood and split the kindlings before supperat least he was there in time to tell his adventures to Jim while Jim did three-fourths of the work. Tom`s younger brother (or rather half-brother) Sid was already through with his part of the work (picking up chips), for he was a quiet boy, and had no adventurous, troublesome ways.
While Tom was eating his supper, and stealing sugar as opportunity offered, Aunt Polly asked him questions that were full of guile, and very deepfor she wanted to trap him into damaging revealments. Like many other simple-hearted souls, it was her pet vanity to believe she was endowed with a talent for dark and mysterious diplomacy, and she loved to contemplate her most transparent devices as marvels of low cunning. Said she:
“Tom, it was middling warm in school, warn`t it?”
“Yes`m.”
“Powerful warm, warn`t it?”
“Yes`m.”
“Didn`t you want to go in a-swimming, Tom?”
A bit of a scare shot through Toma touch of uncomfortable suspicion. He searched Aunt Polly`s face, but it told him nothing. So he said:
“No`mwell, not very much.”
The old lady reached out her hand and felt Tom`s shirt, and said:
“But you ain`t too warm now, though.” And it flattered her to reflect that she had discovered that the shirt was dry without anybody knowing that that was what she had in her mind. But in spite of her, Tom knew where the wind lay, now. So he forestalled what might be the next move:
“Some of us pumped on our headsmine`s damp yet. See?”
Aunt Polly was vexed to think she had overlooked that bit of circumstantial evidence, and missed a trick. Then she had a new inspiration:
“Tom, you didn`t have to undo your shirt collar where I sewed it, to pump on your head, did you? Unbutton your jacket!”
The trouble vanished out of Tom`s face. He opened his jacket. His shirt collar was securely sewed.
“Bother! Well, go `long with you. I`d made sure you`d played hookey and been a-swimming. But I forgive ye, Tom. I reckon you`re a kind of a singed cat, as the saying isbetter`n you look. THIS time.”
She was half sorry her sagacity had miscarried, and half glad that Tom had stumbled into obedient conduct for once.
But Sidney said:
“Well, now, if I didn`t think you sewed his collar with white thread, but it`s black.”
“Why, I did sew it with white! Tom!”
But Tom did not wait for the rest. As he went out at the door he said:
“Siddy, I`ll lick you for that.”
In a safe place Tom examined two large needles which were thrust into the lapels of his jacket, and had thread bound about themone needle carried white thread and the other black. He said:
“She`d never noticed if it hadn`t been for Sid. Confound it! sometimes she sews it with white, and sometimes she sews it with black. I wish to geeminy she`d stick to one or t`otherI can`t keep the run of `em. But I bet you I`ll lam Sid for that. I`ll learn him!”
He was not the Model Boy of the village. He knew the model boy very well thoughand loathed him.
Within two minutes, or even less, he had forgotten all his troubles. Not because his troubles were one whit less heavy and bitter to him than a man`s are to a man, but because a new and powerful interest bore them down and drove them out of his mind for the timejust as men`s misfortunes are forgotten in the excitement of new enterprises. This new interest was a valued novelty in whistling, which he had just acquired from a negro, and he was suffering to practise it undisturbed. It consisted in a peculiar bird-like turn, a sort of liquid warble, produced by touching the tongue to the roof of the mouth at short intervals in the midst of the musicthe reader probably remembers how to do it, if he has ever been a boy. Diligence and attention soon gave him the knack of it, and he strode down the street with his mouth full of harmony and his soul full of gratitude. He felt much as an astronomer feels who has discovered a new planetno doubt, as far as strong, deep, unalloyed pleasure is concerned, the advantage was with the boy, not the astronomer.
The summer evenings were long. It was not dark, yet. Presently Tom checked his whistle. A stranger was before hima boy a shade larger than himself. A new-comer of any age or either sex was an impressive curiosity in the poor little shabby village of St. Petersburg. This boy was well dressed, toowell dressed on a week-day. This was simply astounding. His cap was a dainty thing, his close-buttoned blue cloth roundabout was new and natty, and so were his pantaloons. He had shoes onand it was only Friday. He even wore a necktie, a bright bit of ribbon. He had a citified air about him that ate into Tom`s vitals. The more Tom stared at the splendid marvel, the higher he turned up his nose at his finery and the shabbier and shabbier his own outfit seemed to him to grow. Neither boy spoke. If one moved, the other movedbut only sidewise, in a circle; they kept face to face and eye to eye all the time. Finally Tom said:
“I can lick you!”
“I`d like to see you try it.”
“Well, I can do it.”
“No you can`t, either.”
“Yes I can.”
“No you can`t.”
“I can.”
“You can`t.”
“Can!”
“Can`t!”
An uncomfortable pause. Then Tom said:
“What`s your name?”
“`Tisn`t any of your business, maybe.”
“Well I `low I`ll MAKE it my business.”
“Well why don`t you?”
“If you say much, I will.”
“MuchmuchMUCH. There now.”
“Oh, you think you`re mighty smart, DON`T you? I could lick you with one hand tied behind me, if I wanted to.”
“Well why don`t you DO it? You SAY you can do it.”
“Well I WILL, if you fool with me.”
“Oh yesI`ve seen whole families in the same fix.”
“Smarty! You think you`re SOME, now, DON`T you? Oh, what a hat!”
“You can lump that hat if you don`t l…
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]]>YOU don`t know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain`t no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly - Tom`s Aunt Polly, she is - and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is
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]]>YOU don`t know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain`t no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly – Tom`s Aunt Polly, she is – and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before.
Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich. We got six thousand dollars apiece – all gold. It was an awful sight of money when it was piled up. Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round – more than a body could tell what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took me for her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough living in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular and decent the widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn`t stand it no longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he was going to start a band of robbers, and I might join if I would go back to the widow and be respectable. So I went back.
The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb, and she called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meant no harm by it. She put me in them new clothes again, and I couldn`t do nothing but sweat and sweat, and feel all cramped up. Well, then, the old thing commenced again. The widow rung a bell for supper, and you had to come to time. When you got to the table you couldn`t go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn`t really anything the matter with them, – that is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.
After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all about him; but by and by she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time; so then I didn`t care no more about him, because I don`t take no stock in dead people.
Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me. But she wouldn`t. She said it was a mean practice and wasn`t clean, and I must try to not do it any more. That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don`t know nothing about it. Here she was a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to any- body, being gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of course that was all right, because she done it herself.
Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, with goggles on, had just come to live with her, and took a set at me now with a spelling-book. She worked me middling hard for about an hour, and then the widow made her ease up. I couldn`t stood it much longer. Then for an hour it was deadly dull, and I was fidgety. Miss Watson would say, “Don`t put your feet up there, Huckleberry;” and “Don`t scrunch up like that, Huckleberry – set up straight;” and pretty soon she would say, “Don`t gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry – why don`t you try to be- have?” Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I was there. She got mad then, but I didn`t mean no harm. All I wanted was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn`t particular. She said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn`t say it for the whole world; she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well, I couldn`t see no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my mind I wouldn`t try for it. But I never said so, because it would only make trouble, and wouldn`t do no good.
Now she had got a start, and she went on and told me all about the good place. She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever. So I didn`t think much of it. But I never said so. I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there, and she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad about that, because I wanted him and me to be together.
Miss Watson she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers, and then everybody was off to bed. I went up to my room with a piece of candle, and put it on the table. Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of something cheerful, but it warn`t no use. I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about some- body that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog cry- ing about somebody that was going to die; and the wind was trying to whisper something to me, and I couldn`t make out what it was, and so it made the cold shivers run over me. Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that`s on its mind and can`t make itself understood, and so can`t rest easy in its grave, and has to go about that way every night grieving. I got so down-hearted and scared I did wish I had some company. Pretty soon a spider went crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it lit in the candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up. I didn`t need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck, so I was scared and most shook the clothes off of me. I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast every time; and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to keep witches away. But I hadn`t no confidence. You do that when you`ve lost a horseshoe that you`ve found, instead of nailing it up over the door, but I hadn`t ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luck when you`d killed a spider.
I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe for a smoke; for the house was all as still as death now, and so the widow wouldn`t know. Well, after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go boom – boom – boom – twelve licks; and all still again – stiller than ever. Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees – something was a stirring. I set still and listened. Directly I could just barely hear a “me-yow! me- yow!” down there. That was good! Says I, “me- yow! me-yow!” as soft as I could, and then I put out the light and scrambled out of the window on to the shed. Then I slipped down to the ground and crawled in among the trees, and, sure enough, there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me.
Chapter 2.
WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of the widow`s garden, stooping down so as the branches wouldn`t scrape our heads. When we was passing by the kitchen I fell over a root and made a noise. We scrouched down and laid still. Miss Watson`s big nigger, named Jim, was setting in the kitchen door; we could see him pretty clear, because there was a light behind him. He got up and stretched his neck out about a minute, listening. Then he says:
“Who dah?”
He listened some more; then he come tiptoeing down and stood right between us; we could a touched him, nearly. Well, likely it was minutes and minutes that there warn`t a sound, and we all there so close together. There was a place on my ankle that got to itching, but I dasn`t scratch it; and then my ear begun to itch; and next my back, right between my shoulders. Seemed like I`d die if I couldn`t scratch. Well, I`ve noticed that thing plenty times since. If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain`t sleepyif you are anywheres where it won`t do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places. Pretty soon Jim says:
“Say, who is you? Whar is you? Dog my cats ef I didn` hear sumf`n. Well, I know what I`s gwyne to do: I`s gwyne to set down here and listen tell I hears it agin.”
So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom. He leaned his back up against a tree, and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched one of mine. My nose begun to itch. It itched till the tears come into my eyes. But I dasn`t scratch. Then it begun to itch on the inside. Next I got to itching under- neath. I didn`t know how I was going to set still. This miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes; but it seemed a sight longer than that. I was itching in eleven different places now. I reckoned I couldn`t stand it more`n a minute longer, but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try. Just then Jim begun to breathe heavy; next he begun to snore and then I was pretty soon comfortable again.
Tom he made a sign to mekind of a little noise with his mouthand we went creeping away on our hands and knees. When we was ten foot off Tom whispered to me, and wanted to tie Jim to the tree for fun. But I said no; he might wake and make a disturbance, and then they`d find out I warn`t in. Then Tom said he hadn`t got candles enough, and he would slip in the kitchen and get some more. I didn`t want him to try. I said Jim might wake up and come. But Tom wanted to resk it; so we slid in there and got three candles, and Tom laid five cents on the table for pay. Then we got out, and I was in a sweat to get away; but nothing would do Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was, on his hands and knees, and play something on him. I waited, and it seemed a good while, everything was so still and lonesome.
As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path, …
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